(P.S. That planter box is getting a make over very soon, hence the emptiness.)

I finally found the guts to try this tutorial. I’m not in love with the tutorial (lots of gaps), but as you can see I figured it out. I’m pretty excited about it!

In other random news I whipped out the old unicycle after my bike tires called it quits this weekend.

(don’t worry Brandon already fixed them- darn nails!)

Yep, I’ve still got skills!

I knocked this little project out in one weekend while Brandon was traveling to and from Dallas for a BYU game. This closet made me crazy. Our house doesn’t really have a linen closet and we have tons of blankets and quilts so that was no bueno. We tried to stack them nicely on the top shelf of this closet and they just wouldn’t stay nice, also no bueno.

 Luckily our closets are quite deep on the sides and we really don’t use that back space. So I sweet talked the guy are Home Depot to do some cuts for me they aren’t actually supposed to do, he is now one of my favorite people. 2 squares and six 2x1s. After some paint and some nails and a cute new basket from Target we are in business!

I love how it turned out. Every snuggly quilt and bed linen has a home without attacking me every time I open the closet. The basket was empty in this picture, but it now houses all our guest sheets and some of the extra big quilts. The top closet shelf is now empty and the only other thing in this closet is our luggage. Loving the empty space and having a home for everything!

1- Let’s be real NO ONE’s house is staged, perfectly clean, organized and beautiful all the time, or even most of the time. I’m totally a neat freak and I’ll be the first to tell you there are closets in my home that I would be mortified if you opened. And you can bet I wouldn’t snap a picture of one until it got a total make over and at that a makeover would probably last and look pretty a grand totally of 30 seconds.

2- Do we really need to post our jealous/envious/covetous thoughts for all to see? I’m not a fan of all the I wants or somedays, or dream homes. Let’s all just be happy with what we have (hair, clothes, bodies, homes include).

3- What happened to my creativity and problem solving skills?I swear I used to be able to come up with solutions and ideas all on my own. Now when I need inspiration I go right to Pinterest and the copying begins.

4- If I spent half the amount of time I spend on Pinterest actually doing projects or heaven forbid laundry I would be a much happier person with a much cleaner home!

Now that you all hate me for not being a lover I have a confession. I do find inspiration, ideas and nifty tricks from Pinterest all the time. So you see I’m quite torn. What’s a girl to do?

Well I dove in and gave a couple of Pinterest projects a try. Yes, I coveted. Yes, I copied and Yes I am totally thrilled with the results. Can you say identity crisis? Oh goodness!

Shutter for Christmas cards, memos or someday children’s art:

Candle holder mason jars:

(I was going to hang these in my front yard trees, but the wind scared me)

Onions grown in a cup in my (very dirty-yikes!) window:

(who knew right?!)

I’m sure there will be many more Pinterest projects in my future, but I still have a few reservations about the whole thing:) Are you a lover, hater or both?

We had such a fun time in Santa Barbara! Before we left Brandon made tons of fudge all by himself! It was delicious!

When we got to SB we had so much fun surprising everyone!

We had so much fun at the Damitz party and enjoying our group bike ride!

Also sometimes I wonder why people think the two of us are siblings?

I’m not sure I will try driving that far again, but I would love to come up with some equally awesome surprises!

While Christmas morning came with wonder, magic and excitement for so many I woke up with a hole in my heart. A big hole. Now don’t get me wrong we had an amazing holiday and are so blessed, but what horrific timing I have! Cramping started Christmas Eve and by Christmas morning we were well into our second miscarriage. Miscarriages are painful in so many ways, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s just another period. Miscarriages are painful! The rest of our holiday was spent with me either in considerable pain or a little crazy from the meds, I’m not sure which is worse. We had just traveled from Texas to California, binkies wrapped ready to be the best Christmas surprise ever! We weren’t very far along, but our due date was right in the middle of a big family reunion and we knew we needed to let everyone know we would not be making it. So much anticipation, so much excitement. We had been trying to heal from the first loss, waiting and praying for so long we just could not wait to share the news. Such a crushing blow. How could this be happening to us again? We tried really hard to hide the tears and trials as we tried to soak up the family and enjoy the season, but it’s hard and I’m sure they could tell.

Last March, the first time around, I felt like I grew a lot. I felt that I learned so much about compassion, loving, trials and pain. I really felt equipped to be a better person because of what I had experienced. I kicked up my healthy habits, did a lot of reading up on parenting and was feeling really ready to try again. Maybe it’s still too fresh, but this time around I’m really struggling to find a reason or figure out what it is I’m supposed to learn.

So I’m trying to think back and recall what helped me recover last time. Maybe if you or someone you know has to endure this trial some of the things that helped me might help you.  I know as much as I thought talking about it would cause more pain sharing really helped last time so I’m trying to be really open to conversation this time. I buried myself in projects and distractions, I read like crazy last time. I picked non-baby projects and books that were very light-hearted and happy. I know on one hand the distractions took over a little, but I also think it was nice to have something other than baby names and nursery decor to think about. You may recall the “patience” quilt, an upholstered chair, tons of spring decor and new diabetes gadgets. All of which were attempts at distractions. This weekend there have already been shelf installations, curtain sewing, file cabinet clean out and lots of new recipes and a new skirt in the works. It may seem silly, but distractions helped me. Avoiding things like baby showers and grocery stores helped too. It still amazes me how the emotion can strike up at any moment and I seem to have a lot of those moments in stores where mothers lose their patience with their children. I know without a doubt I will be the exact same way some day, but it’s all I can do to not shake these women and shout “Do you understand how lucky you are!” I’m sure that they do and I’m sure I will lose my patience too, but oh how desperate I am to have the chance to. I also have realized that a variety of dates bring up the pain again. Oct. 18th (our 1st due date) was hard and I’m sure July will be too. Try to remember that grieving and healing is a process, it’s not a once and done deal.

Probably the most helpful thing for me was having such thoughtful, loving, serving family, friends and neighbors. We had many tender mercies come from friends who didn’t even know what we were going through, but followed a prompting and blessed our lives. My best advice for helping someone get through a trial is not to push, grieving takes time and is different for everyone. Allow yourself, or your friend to cry, allow them to talk when they want and try to just listen. We had several comments made to us that I’m sure were meant to help, but ended up coming out hurtful. No matter how far along someone is when they lose a baby saying, “oh, it was just a few hundred cells at that point” is not the right thing to say! (true story!). For us from the moment we found out we were pregnant that baby had a future, we had dreams for it and were already totally in love. The most supportive moments for me involved listening ears, big hugs and people who allowed me to grieve and didn’t judge me for it.

I really hope that none of my sweet friends or family ever have to go through this experience, but if you do I hope you can turn to the Lord and your friends and family for support. I found these two blog posts (shared with me by my sweet friend Camille) to be very helpful and comforting: How to Cope and Unnamed. The first gives great advice for dealing with grief and helping others. The second very beautifully describes a lot of the feelings I’ve struggled to communicate above. They are both good reads. I’m very glad they were shared with me.

So we are somewhat glad that 2011 is over. We are ready to move on and want so desperately to find a little one in our arms soon. Here’s hoping for a more productive 2012!

We had so much fun!

These leggings are super sparkly! I want some in my size!

Bravo my darlings!

We had a very lovely Thanksgiving with the Lund family. We are so grateful for them and their friendship. I had a blast making pies, napping, watching Thor and enjoying tons of yummy food!

So although Christmas is just around the corner (yikes!) I’m glad to be reminded of how blessed we are.

Loving my latest stripes!

]]> http://brandonandmegan.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/stripes/feed/ 0 brandonandmegan bath1 bath2 http://brandonandmegan.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/faith-is-like-a-little-seed/ http://brandonandmegan.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/faith-is-like-a-little-seed/#comments Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:25:24 +0000 brandonandmegan http://brandonandmegan.wordpress.com/?p=1697 Continue reading →]]> Well apparently I need a whole bunch more faith because when I stuck my tiny little seeds in the ground I was pretty sure nothing would come of them. Boy was I wrong! I don’t have a before picture, but we started everything from seeds so just imagine dirt. When we got back from our trip we came back to a zucchini explosion!

Before planting our garden I did a ton of research, but had heard that zucchini was a no brainer. Well, I should have done more research because I had no idea how huge they got! Can you see my cucumber running for its life out the side of the box. We also have 3 tomato plants and some spinach in there that has all amazingly survived. My peppers never made an appearance, but everything else is doing great.

I was again super surprised when I actually found fruit! um, yeah I need to work on the faith thing.

Oh and I thinned down the zucchini plant. It’s still huge, but the sun now gets to the other plants.

The first night we picked I was super sick so please excuse the general blahness of these photos, not cute, but I was proud of my  little plant.

We made some really delicious cinnamon zucchini bread with the first bunch and I think by the end of this week I’ll have enough to make some zucchini cakes that I’m very excited about! We have also been enjoying spinach salads and are eager to see our cucumbers and tomatoes grow! Having our produce 20 feet from the kitchen is amazing!

I didn’t get a lot of pictures from our days in the parks, but I did happen to snatch a picture of us waiting for my favorite ride!

I also got lots of animal shots from our early morning safari.

We had such an amazing time and were so sad we had to come home!

This cute flamingo was feeding her baby.